negative hormones here

It's 1st of December, third semester is coming to an end. Living so rush, stress, pressure, down for this semester. Yes, negative feelings are more than the positive ones. I am not a negative person but I am turning. God, someone please pull me back. I always feels afraid when people ask me, what you wanna be in the future? I feel ashame, nervous, sad when I have to answer you. Because me, myself, are feeling blur too. I couldn't see a clear way of mine, how I wanna answer you. That really gives a lot pressure on me. And I started to answer animator because I don't want to talk much, lazy to explain, or I have nothing to explain. I am an easily cry people, I couldn't control my tears when my body gonna break to tears, teach me to control my tears, teach me to control and remain a stony face. But, sometimes... sometimes... tears, for me, is a way releasing my emotions, pulling out the stress from my body, the unhappy and negative cells and hormones which staying inside my body. I know the world is cruel out there, tears just get things worse when we are working out there. I will learn to be tougher, not crying in front of people, just rolling tears during the night when I'm alone with my pillow. My body needs laughter as much as it needs tears. Both are cleansers of stress.

到了一定的年紀 有了太多的心事 人就會變得沉默